The Hēathernet 20oz. to Geekdom

2011 in Review

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

The best way I can understand what happened in the year that just past is by looking at the year ahead. That's an odd sensation. What is that? Oh, my. That's fear. I started down a strenuous, but clear, path when 2010 turned to 2011. As this year begins that path will fade only 5 months from now and I have to take back over for what happens next. Who knew 2011 was such an easy year? Didn't feel like it, but I know better now.

2011 was also, of course, very joyful. If it was a highway I was undoubtedly racing from rest stop to rest stop as fast as I could, Styrofoam coffee cups piling high in the passenger seat. Thank goodness Michelle and I planned a special excursion along the way, like pulling into the parking lot of the surprise day at the amusement park, and got married in October (to each other, even!) Camp Fowler was, in a word, perfect;

The Chapel

even though the skies drizzled and the temperatures drifted to lows somehow colder than it is even today. Check this out, the weather being as affecting as it was, pulled the guests together, and as a wedding community, refused to let it be a factor in our enjoyment of the weekend. I can not think of anything more "camp," I can not think of anything more "us."

And I can't say I didn't enjoy the rest of the road trip either. If I take my 2011 education experience and compartmentalize it; it was downright amazing. In my master classes I made new friends, and not just any new friends, the kind of new friends that one makes at Camp Fowler. The kind of people who remind you that you're not the only person trying to change the planet for the better. Funny people, musical people, people I will miss now that school is over. In my elementary internship I made a difference. I befriended nearly 400 children and tried to learn every one of their names. I changed some of my understandings about children and human development. I was supported and cared for as a member of a team of professional educators, and my decision to become a teacher was resolutely reinforced.

Now I enter 2012, 30 years old, (Did you catch that? I snuck it in behind my wedding), and I'm no closer to feeling that mature. 2011 showed that I can follow a complicated plan, and I can follow it pretty well. 2012 will have to prove that I can make my own plan.

Summer Report

A week from today is the first day of school here in Connecticut and I will be returning along with the children as an elementary school intern.

We know the question well, "How was your summer?"

We know the answer too, "It was alright."

That's the standard answer I've had since I left Camp Fowler in 2008, when my usual words would have been, "It was the best summer, yet, camp is the greatest!"

If I take a moment and breathing Summer 2011 in, however, I must learn to modify my words.

It was a summer that I should not be too quick to dismiss, for it may have been the best I've had since I left camp.

It was quick, of course. In the mornings I helped set wedding plans in stone while I spent the evenings working at Dunkin Donuts. Each weekend was occupied. That's not an exaggeration.

With busyness comes adult growth. I have seen more of my friends this summer than I have in three years. I have reconnected with people and personalities that hold deep importance in making me who I am today. I have visited two great American cities and spent a weekend in the mountains. I have met a new niece-by-friendship who has captured my heart and filled it with hope and happiness. I've played music and I've read books.

I have learned that I am someone who does not go out of my way to enjoy life, I often prefer life to come find and enjoy me. It's selfish, silly, but--when you consider my young adult years were spent at an Adirondack playground where everyone I knew wanted to be--forgivable. With Michelle's help I have become a better person this summer.

I wouldn't spend the summer before our wedding any other way.

Brain full

I knew this day was coming and man, am I ever glad it is here. It is the first day of the summer where I can sit here... and reflect. Since my employment at Target came to an abrupt stop, while I was already taking classes for my graduate education, then immediately turned into my first trimester, which quickly became my second trimester, and then the summer was upon me without even a sniff of possible employment -- I wasn't sure I was ever going to slow down and, well, think.

Oh yeah, and Michelle is planning our wedding.

So, where to begin? Hm, here's this:

Trimester down!

Yes, that was a blur. Somehow I swung those grades despite my uncanny ability to leave every assignment for the night before and alternate between 14 hours and 2 hours of sleep.

What's frightening is that I'm muscling out this update while I'm in the midst of already having met for most of my classes already in the next trimester.

I did enjoy a lot of the research I've gotten to do already. There have been some late night psychotic breaks. Most of the time I am raving mad and declare, loudly, that I don't want to do this. A few times it's been because I've been really into my work. If I get around to it I may post a couple of my presentations or papers if I can figure out a way to make them internet entertaining.

Other than that things should stay pretty quiet around here on the update front.

Anything but homework

• Went home to the Scotia area on a deliberate and exclusive trip to see Jenna and Jordan and Jason last weekend. I could never some up how good it felt to be with friends again. No visit could ever be long enough to be all I need from them.
• Sometimes the Pre-K and kindergarten boys relate me a little too closely to their fathers. If I work with them on floor level they've been known to suddenly tackle me.
• Mary Morrison is 90% military sub base families. I asked one kindergartner today if he planned on showing his art to his mom and dad after school. He told me his dad was underwater for a long time. I saw his dad pick him up one day after school. Now that man is somewhere in our oceans.
• I don't know what to do about my handwriting. In 10th grade I made the conscious effort to learn how to write in all capital letters after I noticed my handwriting became more legible while staying just as fast. That's three years of high school and eight years of college where all the notes I've taken have been in uppercase writing. I can write lowercase neatly on a board in my old handwriting if I concentrate but if I have to take notes quickly my brain fights my efforts and my hand warps the neatness. Most of the time this is a non-issue as note taking is for me and board writing is for the children. Today I did some reading assessments and I went with lowercase as it seemed to make sense at the time. I made  mess.

Here’s a damn entry

Why does school ruin everything?

Before school I liked to read. Now I never, ever read for fun. How does a flashlight-under-the-blanket kid become a sloth ridden couch potato.

Before school I liked to blog. Now I have to write a daily journal entry after each day of my internship.

That's where the writing goes.

That time of year

I've been spending my time not at work either motionless on the couch or motionless at my desk. I don't work any more hours than normal at the big red bullseye but somehow they're all the more soul crushing. I've even had the recent experience at getting on the naughty list for working forty hours and five minutes and then coming in the next week and having the tasks I didn't complete pointed out to me. Breaking that down: I worked too much not working enough.

Things are moving forward with grad school. I've been awarded an internship (most likely) and I picked up a substantial financial aid package.

My internship interview was a strange experience. At one point the principal and assistant principal looked at each other and briefly confirmed with each other that, "Yeah, we're staying open."

I was struck by what a strange country it's become. When the Mohawk Mall slowly became an empty husk or the retail football that was the Glenville Fay's Drugs building finally was razed to the ground it was change but it was good old fashioned American change. Schools closing and restructuring feels entirely different, although maybe that's because I grew up in a district that was pushing against the size of it's buildings. I've seen schools closing in the news but this was the first time I sat across from actual professionals what that shrug in their shoulders: we don't know where the country is going.

The financials were the last thing really holding me back from committing to grad school. I'm going to get swallowed up by a really nuts schedule over the next month. Enjoy this nugget. I'm going to go disappear again.