The Hēathernet 20oz. to Geekdom

Incoherent rambling

I got my letter. I'm accepted to the Masters in Education program for the Winter 2011 Trimester at the University of New Haven.

My studies, should I choose to begin them, are right around the corner. I have an introductory orientation class in December starting the night of the 7th where I'll have to commute to New Haven four nights a week. That puts a timer on how long I have left to learn how to drive Michelle's car. Yeah, I really should know how to drive stick by now anyways.

So the question is: Am I going?

Well, yeah. It's the better option. It's only a year and on the other side is a better life with a better career.

The next question: Am I excited? Looking forward to an education and career in education?

No.

Despite this apathy I can still feel another feeling and one that is far stronger. The sand is really starting to come out of the hourglass now. I turn 30 a year from now. It's probably time to have a career.

Sometimes I'm still pretty confident that the feeling is just me falling for a social convention. Money and insurance are powerful forces, they kind of make it easy to fall.

I think the conclusion is that inside most of us there are two selves. There is one self that wants a dog, and a backyard, and a separate television for watching baseball (ahem), and all the perks that come with growing up and making money. The other self, which is the self that has always gotten to come first before, is the one that wants to make no sacrifices for adult life. I think this other self gets accused a lot of being immature and unintelligent but I tend to think no such thing. Especially in creative types I think it is this self that drives us to be the amazing species that we are. I demand adventure because I'm inquisitive. I'm indecisive because I'm all-inclusive.

This is what happens when you make the Camp Fowler motto I've never done it that way before a manifesto.

Alright, here's what I know. Ever since I was 16 I have met amazing folks who have become my closest friends and fellow visionaries. If we could all be promised we could do anything we want, so long as: we made the world a better place, music and art surrounded us, we shared the work, lived in tight community, made time for reflection, and-most importantly-need not worry about putting the needs of the adult self before the value of the ever changing selves within our community; we would flock to that experience and live out our lives, filled to the frothy brim, not necessarily with happiness, but with a soul deep contentment and purpose.

I don't know how people live any other way.

Strong silent stones and distant lonely stars

In the last week I've had a difficult time sitting down to write. I've been tasked with a lot of performance managing at work and I come home tired and broken from being yelled and sworn at. Then I turned 29 on Saturday. Then on Sunday an Oswego friend that I've let grow distant passed away.

I type up my thoughts but they all seem so selfish.

I just know I am not good in maintaining connections. I abhor Facebook. I can't use a phone. I never travel and I never plan.

I owed my friend better. I owe you all better.

That's actually a part of the reason The Heathernet came back online. To make myself more comfortable with sharing my life and feelings again.

If I can find the words to tell these stories, if I can gain the perspective to honor these memories, I promise I will.

Big boy bricks

I make no secret of my lifelong passion for Lego bricks. It just doesn't make sense to still buy them. I contend that it still makes sense to receive them as gifts... if you wanted to keep that in mind.

Fortunately for me there exists IKEA.

Michelle and I made another trip to the New Haven store yesterday and bought a real TV stand. Amazingly this is already our third attempt at putting something functional under our television and this time was the first time that we actually bought something intended to be a TV stand.

Previously we went makeshift with a bookcase and then we used our coffee table so it really makes a difference when you buy something designed specifically for your planned use. We're really happy with the result.

That's an quick iSight snapped shot of the new hardware. I owe you a real photo tour of our apartment and all of the neat IKEA stuff  and artwork we've got... but wait, actually, you just owe us a visit. Nyah!

Anyway, my point. What you see above is basically designed to be a media cabinet and consequently is all solid with two panels of thin veneer. IKEA furniture comes with numbered instructions where the steps are not in written language but are instead illustrated so they can be understood internationally. Hm, like Lego sets. The best part of putting this kit together was realizing that I needed the back to be open for the electronics. Well this was when I felt like a little kid putting together my Lego set. It didn't really take any real intelligence but none the less it was a very satisfactory mental breakthrough when I analyzed the design of the IKEA kit and new it wouldn't suffer build quality if I let out one of the veneer panels. Instant custom furniture and instant creative satisfaction which I really need.

That's not the only thing we got this weekend. We also got sick. It's been a while for both of us and we're now rolling into the work week as mopey stuffy messes. Hence, that's about all the posting effort you get from me this weekend.

Holes in the calendar

The only way I can get in a post for today is to complain about why it's so hard to get a post in for today.

Thursdays are my backroom shift in my new position. It's actually kind of a fun shift because I just turn off my brain and do what my little scanner tells me to. There's this machine called the WAV (pronounced 'Wave') that I get to zip around on to reach high places and there's another machine that's like a pallet jack and a forklift combo for manhandling pallets of product into out of reach bulk shelves. I also have to haul around boxes full of merchandise and lug wooden pallets into position for the morning's truck. It's a little like a paid workout.

The big problem is the shift time. It's a closing shift that runs from 12:30pm to 9pm and it becomes the only thing I do on Thursdays. I'm pretty tired by this time in the week and if I don't set an alarm I sleep almost up until the time I need to get ready for work. Then I work and by the time I'm home I only have enough time to wind down before I really should be getting to bed for tomorrow morning's shift.

Bedtime should have been about the time I left the store but here I am, fighting to make September 30th mean something in the end.

iTunes study: The Story of 100 Aisles

The Story of 100 Aisles by Our Lady Peace, off the album Clumsy

We have a more traditional result from my little digital adventure as opposed to the last time where I managed to unearth something in which I was directly involved. The first result is that I have a lot less to say.

This is a very good song off of a very great album. Which is exactly why I have it. My purchase of this album occurred probably a good 10 years after its 1997 release date. That's something I'm prone to doing now, collecting all the music I couldn't afford from the age of grunge and rounding out my collection, probably a sign of aging.

General opinion is that Clumsy is a breakthrough album by a band called Our Lady Peace, their 1999 follow up Happiness... Is Not a Fish You Can Catch, is by that same group, and that anything after that is by some other band. A bad band. Did you know they released an album last year? Did you know that they collaborated with David Cook on this album... David Cook of American Idol? I rest my case.

The Story of 100 Aisles falls into the pharmaceutical love affair category of lyric writing and hence I have little comment. The music, like everything else on this album, rocks. From the slow build into a raucous opening riff to the singer screeching, " Depressed? Come here, try this," out of the ethereal bridge in a way that perfectly welcomes back the rock chorus that follows.

My favorites on the album tend to be in keeping with their big hits of the era, i.e. Superman's Dead and Clumsy with the album's ballad 4am getting plenty of plays as well. 'The Story of 100 Aisles' shows this is an album where you're free to not pick and choose, pop in, turn up, and rock the whole thing out.

In my library it's rated four stars, been played 5 times, and it's never been skipped.

The Story of 100 Aisles is available in the iTunes music store. Excuse me, I need to go pick up 'Happiness... is Not a Fish You Can Catch.'

Simple days and playground games

Weddings are an excellent way to remind me how much I hate Bon Jovi. And Grease. And any music you like. Any moment where the general populous excitedly screams along with the lyrics to some dreadful pop song I barely know. I think it harkens back to ancient primal fear. Or Teen Town.

That's it! Weddings need four square courts for the retreating geeks and losers. Solved it.

The outdoor ceremony took place on beautiful farmland with mountain vistas in every direction. The weather was windy but the sun was out for the ceremony. By the time the reception started the weather was quite cool.

Michelle was a bridesmaid and kept on a tight schedule so it was hard to call it a relaxing weekend off from work. I did find time for a brief drive through the Vermont countryside the morning of the wedding and it did wonders for the soul. There is something about mountains...

The car is in the shop to address a laundry list of schedule maintenance that the little check engine light started complaining about in, oooooh, February. I'm excited to get the rockin' box back tomorrow.