TDOWT…W!?: Black Friday, Really black
(The Department of What the… What!?: Sometimes something will strike The Heathernet as so ridiculously off that it needs to be instantly commented on. TDOWT…W!? chronicles these abuses of our minds.)
This one needs little extra commentary from me to prove it's relevance to TDOWT…W!?.
You just don't know how to respond to that imagery. If Target had gotten it's act together in time I was supposed to be working retail myself today. I shouldn't be putting my life on the line!!
TDOWT…W!?: Tom Shillue is stalking me
(The Department of What the... What!?: Sometimes something will strike The Heathernet as so ridiculously off that it needs to be instantly commented on. The TDOWT...W!? chronicles these abuses of our minds.)
Tom Shillue is stalking my mind. Tom Shillue, the comedian, is stalking me.
I can't imagine this is easy for Tom to do and considering the variety of ways he's taking to the task I applaud his efforts. Read on for the wild details:
Happy Thanksgiving 2008
The Obama family volunteers at a food bank, November 26th, 2008. Downloaded from http://www.politico.com/politico44/ Credit: unknown
May your holiday leave you satiated with gratitude and drunk with hope.
Cheers - Heath
Ponder This – Issue 3.0
Another One Bites The Dust: How can every show that I am a fan of be cancelled? I swear, if you are trying to start a successful show in Hollywood, don't let me know about it, because if I start to watch it and enjoy it, it will essentially be automatically cancelled. When it comes to shows and their success, I am like a black cat walking over a broken mirror on Halloween. I am the worst luck for good shows, and I usually seal their fate as a short-lived show.
I'm only complaining about this because on Friday I became aware that one of the only shows I watch, Dirty Sexy Money, is getting booted by ABC. The ratings are low for the show, which is about a lawyer and the dysfunctional family that he works for, who happen to be the richest family in New York City. It is not the coolest show I've ever watched (that distinction belongs to LOST,) but it was enjoyable, the characters were outrageous and entertaining, and that's why I watch television, to be entertained.
This is only the latest addition to the long list of shows that have been cancelled that I have been a fan of. In 2004, Life As We Know It, a show about high schoolers becoming adults and dealing with the issues that go along with that, was cancelled after 13 episodes. In 2005, Commander In Chief, a show about the first female President, was cancelled after 19 episodes. In 2007, The Black Donnellys, a show about black Irish brothers living in New York City was cancelled after 14 episodes. Also in 2007, and this one really hurts, was Journeyman, a show about a man who randomly traveled through time. Each episode he would either go back in time or forward and solve a problem that fate entrusted to him. And now, Dirty Sexy Money will be on that list in the coming weeks.
This may look like I watch a lot of shows, but when they continually get cancelled, I have to trudge along and test out new ones that possibly will replace the fallen show. I think I'll just become a poet, or a farmer, and get the hell away from television. However, that day won't come until LOST (the only bright spot in my dark history of television fandom,) stops showing up on my screen.
Heathernet Help Desk: Laptop Batteries
Most college grads of these outrageous aughts have come to know the distress that comes with our laptop's lithium ion battery calling it a good run before even a good two or three years of school is run off of our machine. Not only is it frustrating for the many of us who have made the Apple switch, it quickly becomes unfairly expensive. This leads us to proudly declaring that our machine "just works," and then add, "when we plug it in." My computer is four years old and begging for it's third new battery to take drinks from. Um, hey, I leave the "electronic device that incurs a regular cost to use" job to my iPhone, thanks.
In the past this has led me to search for a solution and I've also given some quasi-flawed advice on the topic. Read on for my update on the problem:
Heathernet defined
This is almost wacky enough for the newly debuted TDOWT..W!?, but we've got to have some standards around here. Still, imagine my surprise when a google search of "heathernet" turned up this link (Caution: may contain NSFW banner ads) from Urban Dictionary.
It's not all that inaccurate either!
TDOWT…W!?: British Airways ad
(The Department of What the... What!?: Sometimes something will strike The Heathernet as so ridiculously off that it needs to be instantly commented on. The TDOWT...W!? chronicles these abuses of our minds.)
Apparently this travesty of an ad (a tradvertisement) inspires the airline customer to associate the commercial with oceanic amounts of space in British Airways new Heathrow terminal. That's what I learned from the YouTube blurb from the embedded video below. What I learned from the actual commercial is as follows, the world will be flooded by oceans soon, the airport will still be packed, and seals make everyone uncomfortable with their public displays of affection. See what you think:
Heath update: Employment? I guess.
I am fairly certain that all quarter dozen readers of The Heathernet are currently enthralled by Um, excuse me: The Murphy liveblog, nonetheless, time for a real life update!
I'll give a little background first. Finally graduated in May, got a degree in something that really spoke to me: Broadcasting. Did my last year as a staff member at Camp Fowler this summer. Then I hit the job search. Bought an account with TVjobs.com. Applied to jobs at ESPN, WGBH, NESN, Versus, NBC, and WTEN right here in Albany. Got an interview with WTEN, went well, but then the position wasn't actually open. Holiday season approaches. Keep applying. Throw in seasonal applications at Borders, Target. Got hired at Target. Start within a week. Working as an "Electronics Team Member" and maybe will move up to "Electronics Specialist." Wait, wait, wait... what? How and when did that happen?
I was just coping with the moping jobless life and now I have to make a snap adjustment to full time holiday retail. Oh, I have my experience, but I thought I shut that door and locked that box and through it in a cage with the pink gorilla. This is a good thing, a good idea, and a certain stress reliever when I open my wallet and peer inside mid-January. Still, as I rifled through the Sears racks tonight, looking for khaki pants with an armful of identical red polos, I felt like some kind of weird puppet. Someone else suddenly started playing the part of me-living... and soon they're going to make me ask you if you'd like to sign up for a credit card.
Um, excuse me: The Murphy liveblog
Hi, um, hello. This is a very special weekend for The Heathernet. My name is Murphy, and I'm in command. Thank you. If you'd like to keep up with my weekend just keep checking this very post.
I have the power! (To creep you out further.)
I see... Me
Let me be clear. My iPhone is the greatest computer I have ever owned. I can feel the tears of my iBook gathering on her keys as I openly tik-tak the words of my betrayal. My iBook, God bless her, doesn't fit in my pocket. My iBook, my tireless companion, does not have multi-touch. My iBook...uh, is... is not a woman, jeez, listen to yourself man!
About a half hour ago someone could have tapped me on the shoulder whilst I sat here at my desk and said, "Your obsession is showing."
Heath’s Twitter
- Sports are stupid. They make me mad. And that's stupid. 3 hours ago
- Aaaaah, who am I? This is not what I do!! http://t.co/1G1wt9Rp 2 days ago
- Watching NOVA always reminds me of my dad. Half of what I know in this world was learned Tuesday nights at 9. 4 days ago
